Of Chicken Troubles and Buchou
by Trancy Phantomhive
Summary: How can one chicken cause him so much trouble? Kunimitsu, in his whole life, never wants to have anything to do with chickens after the unexpected visit, ever again. /Oneshot./


**Disclaimer: **_Everybody yearns to own something, right? Unfortunately and sadly, as much as I would like to, I don't own "The Prince of Tennis" and everything related to this manga, anime and game. "The Prince of Tennis" is property of Konomi-sensei._

**Author's Note: **_This is my first attempt in writing humour (and "The Prince of Tennis" fic) as I am not humorous, LOL. Hope it's good enough. ;)

* * *

_

_**"Of Chicken Troubles and Buchou"

* * *

**_

It is odd, thinks Kunimitsu, to find a chicken in his house.

No, it's not the type of chicken one usually finds dead, frozen in the freezer; it's the type of chicken that still has its feathers, clucking and yes, breathing and moving.

Kunimitsu can only blink several times; his stoic expression still in place. His current situation is ridiculous and . . . unbelievable, but his face won't show any hints of (troubled) emotions.

He turns away from the clucking creature and heads to his room, fully aware that _the thing _ is following him. There must be an explanation for this; on how a real-life chicken is in the Tezuka Residence. His grandparents—possibly grandmother—must have bought it by mistake. Yes, that must be it, thinks Kunimitsu, entering his bedroom quite hurriedly as he closes the door firmly behind him, all the while sneaking glances to . . . _it_, for the lack of a better word.

Kunimitsu begins changing from his school uniform into his casual clothing. He comes up with various reasons on how in God's name a chicken is wandering around his house.

While doing so, somehow, the chicken in question is able to find its way to the bespectacled male's room. How it is able to do it, no one knows.

It clucks making Kunimitsu aware of his surroundings. To think that he always reminds his teammates to never let their guards down! Why did he let _his_ guard down? This is . . . This is intolerable for a responsible captain!

Kunimitsu, no fully changed out of his uniform, eyes the chicken sternly; wanting to make it disappear from sight. Sighing heavily, Kunimitsu thinks his actions are rather uncharacteristic of him.

He turns his back on the chicken for one second—a foolish act that the . . . _creature_ takes as a signal to attack. With one loud _'cluck'_, it charges at the teen, flapping its wings violently and begins pecking real hard on Kunimitsu's body.

With this happening, Kunimitsu swears that this is _'human'_ cruelty and all hell breaks loose.

A few hours of massive chaos inside the Tezuka Residence, one can find a worn out teen lying on the floor with several injuries all over his body—mainly pecks and scratches from the animal he now loathe so much—and the whole household a mess. Kunimitsu is forever thankful that his grandparents are away for the week or else he'll get strict scolding from his grandfather.

Wait a second; if his grandparents are away then . . . how the hell was there a chicken in his house?

Glancing around the room, he soon realises that the animal of mysteries is nowhere in sight.

Cursing slightly under his breath, Kunimitsu mutters in a hoarse voice, "Y—Yudan sezu ni ikou" before passing out.

He won't worry about the mess; he has lots of time to clean the house up.

* * *

Along with the mischievous chicken, one can find a sadistically smiling prodigy petting the animal's head gently.

Fuji Syuusuke unties a piece of string which has a small hidden surveillance camera off the chicken's neck.

Syuusuke smiles, uploading the video in his computer and watching it. He laughs like there is no tomorrow, seeing how flustered Kunimitsu is in the video; attempting to catch the vermin and, in some occasion, attempting to 'get rid off' it once and for all.

Minutes of laughter goes by and Syuusuke still can't get enough of replaying the video numerous times. He smiles thoughtfully, "Ah, Tezuka, who knew that chickens are one of your weaknesses?"

Syuusuke shakes his head in mock disbelief and shuts his computer down. This will make a rather wonderful blackmail on the captain. Still, he can't help but tease him a little more . . .

* * *

A few days after the chicken incident, one can find a frozen Tezuka Kunimitsu sitting in front of an unwrapped box.

Kunimitsu massages his temples, rereading the note he has in hand which came with the _'package'_. Here it says:

.

_Tezuka-kun_,

_I had fun playing with you, though I wish you could have been a bit gentle towards me. I hope we have some bonding in the future. For now, please treasure my gift for you. I know you'll like it._

_From Chicken, with love . . ._

_.  
_

Staring at the box, Kunimitsu inwardly cringes at the sight. He had received a _'chicken alarm clock'_ for some sort of _'inside joke'_ and a lone white feather.

From then on, Kunimitsu swears off chickens. He never wants anything to do with them ever again.

And a mystery remains on how the feathered thing found its way inside his house and back to Syuusuke.

Everything is illogical.


End file.
